


More

by EldritchSandwich



Category: Original Work
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, F/F, First Kiss, Fluffy Sandwich, Romantic Angst, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 04:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5728993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EldritchSandwich/pseuds/EldritchSandwich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penny and Gwen try to pin down the nature of their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More

Penny and I are snuggled up on the couch, drinking wine and eating popcorn over a Simpsons marathon. It's been pouring all day, and since neither one of us had to work we just decided to stay in and veg out. Now that it's getting dark—it's only like six, but the clouds and the rain are making it darker—I look back at the day we had with mild embarrassment; I mean sure, it was fun just staying in, but I feel like we should have accomplished...something.

That feeling, that mix of relaxed apathy and grudging responsibility that feels so much like an old married couple thing, is what finally makes me bring it up.

"Hey, so...I was talking to Helen yesterday, and she said something kind of weird."

Penny shifts to try to get more comfortable, her warm body squirming closer to mine under the blankets. "Mm?"

"Yeah. We were, um...talking about your birthday..."

"Oh God, please don't do anything. I don't want to make a big deal out of it."

"Try and stop me." I smile, but it doesn't last. I lick my lips. "Anyway when we were talking, she said, um...apparently she thought that we're...you know."

"Mm? What?"

"Um...dating."

I feel Penny's body tense up a little under me, and I know I shouldn't have brought it up. I chuckle nervously, but she just turns to face me, eyes half-closed and watching me carefully from underneath her lashes. "Well, um, Gwen...I mean...don't you think we kind of are?"

My eyes go wide and my face goes pink. "What?"

I wish the expression on my face didn't make Penny frown. Her eyes dart back to the TV. "Well, I mean...we're always going out to eat, or to the movies, just the two of us. When we go to a club, we always leave together..."

"Well yeah, but...that's just best friend stuff, I mean, it's not like we're, you know..." She looks back at me, and I blush. "You know. Having...sex."

Penny frowns again. "So what, it's not dating until you have sex?"

"No, of course not..."

"I mean...fine, we don't do that, but we're always holding hands and cuddling and everything. Besides, when was the last time you did have sex with anyone?"

I fidget uncomfortably, which just makes me even more aware of Penny's body crushed against mine. I can't believe I didn't realize before now how intimate this position was—cuddling with Penny like this always just felt safe and soft and warm—but I feel like trying to move now will just make everything more awkward.

"I mean...I guess...Mike?"

"Okay, so...that was like a year ago. And I mean, we're hardly ever apart, so I think I would have noticed if you were trying to hook up with someone else. Right?" She sounds almost desperate, like the thought of me keeping something like that secret really hurts her. As if I ever could.

That's not the point. I shake my head. "Well...I just...I'd feel weird getting with someone if you're not with anyone, like I was...I don't know, abandoning you or something."

"And...I guess I feel the same way. So...it doesn't really seem like we're going to hook up with anyone else. Is that...do you have a problem with that?"

"No, of course not," I answer before I even really have time to think about it. "I mean, I'm not going to get anything from being with a guy that I don't get...with..." Oh. Oh shit. _Oh my god._

My body's the tense one now, and Penny sits up a little so she can put her arms around me. "I feel the same way," she murmurs in my ear. "I mean...you know how much I love you."

"Yeah, I love you too, but...not that kind of love!"

"Not what kind?"

I blink, because I don't actually have an answer. "You know! Not, like...the lesbian kind!" Yes! That's it! "I'm not a lesbian!"

Penny just shrugs against me. "Yeah, okay, neither am I. But...I do love you. And I mean...I want to be close to you, and I like touching you, and I feel like you know me better than anyone else ever could. Is that...do you not feel that way about me?"

I frown. My fingers are plucking woolly threads out of the edge of the blanket, and I didn't even realize I was doing it. "No. I mean yeah, I mean...of course I do, you're totally the best thing in my life. But...that doesn't mean we have to, like...start having sex because all of a sudden we're 'too close' to be friends or something."

"I'm not saying that."

"Okay. Okay, good."

I glance over to find Penny studying me. "So I guess it really grosses you out, huh?"

I blink. "Huh?"

"You know...doing stuff like that with a girl. Kissing and...other stuff."

"No, it doesn't gross me out," I answer honestly. "I mean, we've watched a couple movies with two women...you know, and it was sweet. I just...I mean, I guess I never thought about it." My eyes narrow as a thought occurs to me. "Have you?"

Penny's lips tighten. It's too dark to tell if she's blushing. "Um...maybe like once or twice. I mean, not about you," she hastens to add, and I'm surprised at how indignant I get hearing that.

I just say "Oh," but apparently my tone says everything else because she looks back up at me with a wince.

"Well, I mean...you're my best friend, and it's not like you've ever thought about it either, right?"

"I don't know. I've never...you know I don't really have sexual fantasies or whatever, so...I don't know!"

I'm expecting to get even more tense if she keeps touching me, but my body actually relaxes as Penny's head tucks into my shoulder. "I just really like being close to you," Penny says into my skin. "I feel safe, and warm, and I don't ever want to give that up."

I swallow down the lump in my throat. "Me too."

"I don't care what people think we're doing together. I just want to be with you however you want to be with me."

I just sit there for a few minutes, holding her, feeling her warm body against mine, feeling her breath rise and fall in her chest. God, I love this. What if...

I take a deep breath. "Penny?"

"Mm?"

"Could we kiss?" I force the words out before I give myself the chance to second guess. She's looking at me now, pink lips parted ever so slightly. "Just...just once, just to try it? Just to see?"

She licks her lips. "You're not worried it'll ruin our friendship?"

I frown. "I don't know what I'm worried about, but it's not that."

"O...okay."

She tips her head up, and since I'm taller, that makes it my duty to lean down to meet her. I touch my lips gently to hers, the only movement being the way she closes hers, dragging their pink smoothness across mine. I know I'm supposed to say either that it was mind-blowing fireworks or that it ruined our relationship forever, but really it just felt...nice. Warm and soft and nice, and when we pull back we're both smiling again.

"That was nice," she says, and I press my forehead against hers.

"Yeah. If...if you ever want to do it again, I'd be okay with it." My smile widens. "I mean, since we're already dating..."

Penny giggles and pulls me closer as our eyes turn back to the TV. Maybe we'll kiss again. Maybe we'll make love. Maybe we won't. Maybe we're dating. I don't know.

What I do know is that it's still raining, and we've got wine and popcorn and the Simpsons and each other. And we don't have to decide anything right now.


End file.
